Single Girl in the Toon

I woke up this morning to total carnage. My room looked like a bomb had hit it. There were clothes strewn all over the floor, the bottom of my bed, and even some trailing out of the door. My bed looked like it had actually been physically moved, my dressing table actually had, and there was random makeup littered all over the place.

So just what had I been doing? Not moving furniture in the middle of the night (well hopefully night), but basically just getting ready for a big night out. Unfortunately for me I didn't have the joy of waking up next to a stunning young man, like I think many did this morning, but my massive cuddly penguin, Brian, who never fails to disappoint me or keep me awake with his snoring, and smelly breath.

Looking at the state of me this morning in the bathroom mirror I can honestly say there is no wonder that I am single. One look at my hair stuck up and randomly matted with old hair spray, like I'd stuck my fingers in a plug socket, my glittery face and smudged charcoal makeup smeared across my face, would be enough to have anyone running in the opposite direction. I basically look like a member of the living dead, far from the fresh faced British rose I would love to wake up as every day.

Last night I had a relationship with a bowl of chips and packet of noodles - strange combo I know. It may sound rank but whenever I have a few drinks I become like a pregnant person, I crave anything and everything which is random and would usually make my stomach turn. I also always decide to cook, and i never ever cook. My sister often comes down at 1 or 2am and finds me cooking anything from pork chops, lamb burgers, pasta, chips, to full blown Shepard's pie. I think she lives in genuine fear that I will burn the house down during these drunken culinary escapades.

Unfortunately this morning my noddles and chips are having a far from desired after effect. My stomach hurts, my head is weird, and all i can taste, even 4 toothbrushes later, is stale chips and hoi sin sauce - NICE.

On a nicer note I keep remember hilarious scenes from last night in Liniker's. Brendan's incredible dancing, Rob's look of ecstatic happiness when he saw the scantily clad dancer while we were queuing outside, as usual, Martin's dancing, and some other things that cant stop putting a little smile on my face.

One thing that doesn't make me smile is the random guy in my taxi on the way home. He was a friend of a friend going the same way as me, Ellie, and Joe, however what he didn't do was pay. Well, actually that is unfair, I will give him credit where credit is due. He gave me a Euro and a few cents, and he wasn't even foreign. How is that meant to help me pay a £15 taxi fair in Newcastle Mr, or help me pay for my morning paper and diet coke today? IDIOT!!!!